How to Lose a Guy in Los Angeles?

Impossible... unless you really like the guy.

Don't respond to his texts or calls.
 Duh, basic procedure. 

You could tell him the truth - honestly, simply and kindly - but the guy is gonna hate you for hurting his ego, and you never know what these crazies in LA will do with that emotion.

A few times I've tried the whole "Sorry I've been so distant... I am going through a really hard time right now". That didn't work, obviously. Too vague. His reply "I'm so sorry. I totally understand.... Why don't you come over and we can watch a funny movie."

OK so then I tried a more specific route (with a different guy). "I think you're a really great guy, but I have to be honest with you. I have stronger feelings for someone else and I think it would be unfair to you if we continue seeing each other." Not the complete honest truth and not taking a huge blow at his ego... but that just pisses the guy off, and you never know about crazies in LA, so...

So sometimes you have to do or say extreme things.

Unwanted house guest example: Be openly mean and feign a huge drug problem.... The mean and distant thing didn't work. The drug/alcohol problem took a week longer than expected, but finally worked.

Blind date from dating website: Just wasn't into the guy, so I canceled my account, sent an apologetic email days after not replying to texts saying I received some sobering news.... that I found out I was pregnant and going to be off the grid for a while trying to figure it all out. OBVIOUSLY that would work, RIGHT?     NO! A few weeks later, he emailed to check up. Asked if I was ready to get back into the conversation game. So then I said I wasn't in the mood. Trying to figure out what to do and Who the Father is... that it could be anyone. He still writes back! Asking if I have any leads! I stopped replying after that. Thinking how I would really feel in this situation (method acting), I decided I would be too busy and upset to deal with a one-time blind date. But my goodness, what a lot of work!

A guy I danced with (for kicks) Facebook IM'ed me asking if i remember him. I said my night was all a haze and that I was blackout drunk and that I think my friends tried to give me an intervention a few times. He said after a minute or two, "So wait, do you really have a drinking problem? Because that is pretty cool." WTF


A one-date guy I went out with 5 years ago found me on Facebook. To my favor, my Facebook location had St. Gaultier, France listed (just for kicks). This guy, who I found to be rather creepy, believed I was really in St. Gaultier (one of his favorite places!). He asked what I was doing en France? EASY OUT - I said I was taking some time off here in France for mental healthy recovery. He writes back, "well what a great place to be... let me know when you get back to LA!" OMG!

So being crazy or pregnant or having a drug/ alcohol problem doesn't seem to bother guys in LA.

I guess honesty IS the only way to get rid of them. Unless you really like him... then they'll just naturally disappear.

If You Wanna Be A Player...

You gotta be ready to cancel your phone number and get a new one... on a moment's notice.

Other ways to get "rid" of a guy you're just not that into, without seeming like a total bitch, and without changing your number?

1. If you have mutual friends...

• say you're not over your ex
• you're going through a really hard time

1. If you have no mutual friends...

• feign a huge drug problem
• death in the family
• you have stronger feelings for someone else
• act PSYCHO
• you're leaving the state... or country
• and my favorite... say you're pregnant

Is honesty the best policy?

No, no it is not.

Waves of 4

I don't know how this happened. I wanted to be dateless for a while. I was enjoying it. After that English Houseguest fiasco, my new pet rabbit, and the great Fall TV lineup, I was looking forward to a little me time. But then suddenly I somehow went from 0-4 in a matter of weeks. I have 3 dates lined up for next week. I really need to get a DVR.

Playing the Game

I went to a house party last weekend. I went there not looking for anything. In fact I had decided recently that I wanted to take a break from dating for a while. I dressed very conservatively, especially compared to the other girls at the party... But then I started talking to a male friend of mine, and he gave me some pretty special words of wisdom. He said the way the human mind works is that people want what they can't have. That is why playing the game is essential, at least in the beginning. With the advice lingering in the back of my mind I spent a good amount of time chatting with some dude. We were getting on pretty well but after a while, we got interrupted by a girl who pushed me out of the conversation. At that moment this guy I was talking to suddenly became less attainable. I wasn't even that interested when I first met him, but now he seems irresistible. I had to talk to him again. But in order for that to happen, I had to play the game.

Step 1: Chat Up Some Other Dudes

I found my male friend who gave me the great advice and told him my dilemma. It was a little bit like an episode of 'Friends'. He told me to pretend he just said something really funny. I used my method acting skills and belted out a giant laugh. Success.

The guy of interest found his way over to me again. This time people tried dragging him onto the dance floor but he refused!(and he loves dancing). Eventually we were interrupted by pathetic girl again so I went to talk (melt down) to my friends about the situation.

Step 2: Be Aloof

I decided to freshen up in the bathroom. I walked by guy of interest and pathetic girl and didn't make eye contact, but I could feel his eyes on me as I walked by.

While freshening up, I realized I was still wearing his sunglasses on my head that he made me wear. So I walk out with them on because I checked in the mirror and they looked cool on me. I open the door and find my guy + pathetic girl standing right there. She looks at me and turns to him and says, "Are those MY sunglasses?" she demands them back and then storms into the bathroom bringing my guy with her.

Step 3: Don't Give Up

It may look like things have gone awry but you can't jump to conclusions. The game ain't over yet.

Mortified I was, I went to the balcony to vent to my friends about the situation in the bathroom. Luckily they came out after a minute, or two, but I was still fuming and by this time I has become obsessed with Playing the Game.

Step 4: Exit Strategy

It was about time for us to leave this party and head to another one (obligations). I asked my advice-giving friend about the exit strategy and he said that if I don't kiss him, he will just find someone else to kiss at the end of the night, OR that I'd have to stay and be the last girl there. I thought that doesn't really follow the "rules of the game" so I decided on a different strategy. I decided I would just tell him I'm heading out to a different party. I had to somehow figure out a way to make the "exchanging of the numbers" happen. Luckily, pathetic girl interrupted us one last time! She said to my dude in the most annoying drunk girl voice ever, "we should have a business dinner next week!" So I said to the dude, "hey we should probably get business drinks sometime too. Here's my card." The girl stormed out in a fury. 

Step 5: Victory

The dude tried to convince me to stay at his party, but I said I had obligations to attend another party in a different part of town. As I was literally walking out the door, he dashes over and tries to convince my friend to let me stay. I suggested he come with us if he wanted. He really didn't want to leave his own party. So he walked away. For a second we thought that was it. But then he came back with his shoes and said to me "I can't believe you're doing this to me. I can't believe you're making me leave my own party."